


for you i'd leave it all (for you i'd lose it all)

by thequeenofokay



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-31 05:03:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3965407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequeenofokay/pseuds/thequeenofokay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jemma sees him slide a photo of Kara across the bar to Coulson. ‘I need you to bring her back,’ he says.</p><p>‘Shield’s resources are limited, Ward,’ Coulson says. ‘We can’t go using them on just anyone. So what would you do for us?’</p><p>Ward gives him a look that’s a kind of unbearably broken that Jemma almost can relate to from the days Fitz was in the coma. It jars her – it’s too genuine, like this really is tearing him apart. ‘Anything. As long as she’s safe,’ he says.</p><p>// in which jemma saves kara's life + ward goes back to vault D.</p>
            </blockquote>





	for you i'd leave it all (for you i'd lose it all)

**Author's Note:**

> \+ excuse but i do not accept canon. nope. karaward are going to be happy. there are no giant person-eating blobs. we will get kara/jemma friendship. everything is fine.
> 
> \+ title from "budapest" by george ezra.

Ward is sitting at the bar. Coulson sits down beside him, while Jemma and Hunter stand slightly back. She feels safe in the knowledge that, if Ward tries anything, Coulson has another dozen agents outside the door who have been instructed to shoot to kill.

‘I was surprised to get your call,’ Coulson says. ‘I thought you said you _didn’t_ want locked up in a cell again.’

Ward smiles in a tight, pained sort of way. Jemma sees him slide a photo of Kara across the bar to Coulson. ‘She’s –’ Ward begins, but his voice seems to break almost immediately and he stops. ‘I need you to bring her back,’ he says. ‘Like they brought you back after you died in New York.’

‘If you’re suggesting GH325, there’s none left,’ Coulson says.

Ward almost laughs. ‘You think I believe Shield hasn’t been developing similar drugs ever since you took over?’

Coulson shrugs lightly, but doesn’t deny it. ‘Shield’s resources are limited, Ward,’ he says. ‘We can’t go using them on just anyone. So what would you do for us?’

Ward doesn’t hesitate. ‘Anything,’ he says. He digs in his pocket, and sets a piece of paper on the table. ‘To start with, this is a list of everyone left who ranked highly in Hydra.’

‘To start with?’ Coulson repeats.

Ward gives him a look that’s a kind of unbearably broken that Jemma almost can relate to from the days Fitz was in the coma. It jars her – it’s too genuine, like this really is tearing him apart. ‘Like I said, I’d do anything. As long as she’s safe,’ he says.

Coulson nods, standing up and pocketing the list of names. ‘My condition will be that you submit yourself to Shield’s custody and help us in any way we need.’

Jemma waits for Ward to object. Instead, he just nods. ‘Whatever it takes.’

She stares at Coulson as Ward is led away by waiting agents. ‘You can’t expect me to save her,’ Jemma says. ‘They _tortured_ Bobbi.’

‘I remember. But if we do this, we gain two valuable assets,’ Coulson reminds her. ‘If we don’t, then who knows what Ward will do?’

He’s got a point. Ward will take it out on Shield if they don’t help him. That doesn’t mean Jemma has to like it.

 

* *

 

Jemma feels no attachment to Kara Palamas. She’s barely spoken to the woman she’s supposed to be saving.

But desperately waiting for the heart monitor to register _something_ , she can’t help remembering Skye after she was shot, Fitz in his coma, Trip when he fell apart.

Her hands won’t stop shaking.

 

* *

 

Jemma’s checking Kara’s vitals when she wakes. She sees the moment of panic in Kara’s eyes as she tries to work out where she is.

‘It’s okay,’ Jemma says carefully. ‘You’re with Shield.’

That doesn’t seem to help. ‘No,’ she croaks out, and coughs. Jemma hands her a drink of water, which she sips slowly. She clears her throat and tries again. ‘I can’t be – I was _dead_.’

‘Ward brought you to us,’ Jemma says. ‘We patched you up.’

Kara looks, if possible, more panicked. ‘Where is he?’ she asks. She tries and fails to struggle up, and Jemma moves over, ready to stop her from reopening her wounds. ‘Where’s Grant?’

‘He’s –’ Jemma frowns, unsure of how to explain it. ‘He’s in Shield’s custody.’

Kara looks immediately dangerous, despite being hardly able to move. ‘I need to see him.’

‘It’s unlikely that Coulson will agree to that,’ Jemma says gently.

‘I _need_ to _see him_ ,’ Kara repeats, more forcefully this time, and she starts to try and get up again, grimacing from the strain.

‘Please,’ Jemma says, ‘don’t try to move. You’re hurting yourself.’

Kara glares.

‘Just stay here,’ Jemma says. ‘I’m going to speak with Coulson. Do _not_ move.’

Kara doesn’t look pleased, but she collapses back against her pillows with a little huff. Jemma still trusts her about as far as she could throw her, and despite the combat training she’s had with May, she’s still pretty sure she couldn’t throw Kara very far, and she has two agents watch her to stop her trying to leave.

Coulson looks up when she enters his office.

‘Miss Palamas is awake,’ she says. ‘She seems to be doing well.’

‘I sense a “but”,’ Coulson says.

Jemma gives a little sigh. ‘She wants to see Ward.’

Coulson looks less annoyed than she’d been anticipating. ‘That was to be expected, I suppose,’ he says. ‘Have him accompanied up by armed guards.’ He seems to consider for a moment. ‘Not that he’d try anything with Palamas in this state.’

‘Sir?’ Jemma asks. ‘We’re just… letting him leave the Vault to see her?’

‘Do you really want to see what Palamas does if we don’t?’ Coulson replies. Jemma has to grudgingly admit that he makes a good point. Not only is there the matter of what Kara would do, but there’s what _Ward_ would do if Kara was hurt in the process. And she wants to see neither of those things.

She’d prefer to make herself as scarce as possible when Ward is brought up. Unfortunately, Kara is far from stable and Jemma still needs to monitor her vitals.

She hovers at the edge of the room. He’s in the same sort of prisoner’s uniform as from his first stint in Vault D, and flanked by half a dozen fully armed agents.

There’s something about the look on his face the second he sees Kara that Jemma wouldn’t know how to put into words. All she can really come up with is that Fitz once said that what Kara and Ward had was love. Maybe he’s a better judge of these things than her.

Jemma looks away.

Kara falls asleep again in Ward’s arms. He’s stroking her hair gently and watching her like he can’t quite believe she’s really there. Jemma has to admit it’s a little sweet, which isn’t something she’d imagined thinking about Ward in a long time.

She’s busying herself at the other side of the medical bay when he finally shifts Kara and stands up. She expects his guards to take him straight back down to his cell, but he crosses the room towards her.

She freezes. ‘What do you want?’ she asks. It was meant to be more forceful than it ends up.

‘Thank you,’ he says, quietly, ‘for saving her.’

Jemma swallows. She’s not sure quite what to say. “Anything to see you back in Vault D” would do, but it’s not quite the truth. ‘I was just doing my job.’

He nods. ‘Thank you anyway,’ he says.

 

* *

 

Jemma isn’t sure the last time she had a good night’s sleep. Not that she’s unusual in that aspect – it’s not usually a surprise to run into someone when she’s up late.

It’s a little more of a surprise when Kara passes the kitchen.

Kara freezes, then Jemma can see her sliding into the defensive stance of a specialist. ‘Just because I was clinically dead a few weeks ago and you saved my life doesn’t mean I’m going to let you stop me,’ she says.

Jemma sets the mug of tea she’d been making down carefully on the counter. ‘You’re not cleared to enter the Vault,’ she says gently. ‘I’m sorry. That’s where you were going?’

Kara’s shoulders slump a little, and Jemma can see some of her defiance slipping away. ‘I have nightmares,’ she say. ‘It helps if I’m not alone.’

Despite herself, Jemma tries to smile comfortingly. Jemma’s not sure how she feels on a lot of counts when it comes to Kara. For a start, she’s not sure how she feels about her being given her own bunk instead of being locked up. But she does feel a little sorry for her.

‘I know the feeling,’ she says. She’s had Fitz stay overnight many times to try and calm her own nightmares. ‘Let me make you some tea.’

Kara still looks ready to run, like she thinks this might be a trap. She relaxes slightly when Jemma puts the mug in her hands. ‘Oh,’ she says. ‘Thank you.’

‘I can… talk to you being given some kind of access to the vault with Coulson in the morning,’ Jemma says.

Kara stares at her. ‘Really?’ The mistrust in her voice stings a little, but Jemma supposes it might be justified.

Jemma nods. She reaches out slowly to pat Kara’s arm comfortingly, and feels a little relieved when the other woman doesn’t flinch away. ‘Really.’

 

* *

 

Monitoring Vault D has to be the least enjoyable part of Jemma’s work as a Shield agent. She can honestly say she prefers being shot at, and a very large part of Jemma hates herself for ever having Coulson give Kara access to the vault, on the condition that they’d be closely monitored. 

She glances up as Fitz sits down next to her with a bowl of popcorn, and smiles. ‘You don’t have to keep me company,’ she says.

He shrugs. ‘I had nothing better to do.’

‘ _Thanks_.’

‘No wait –’ He lets out a sigh and a sweet little huff. ‘That’s _not_ what I meant.’

Jemma smiles, kissing him on the cheek. ‘I know,’ she says. ‘Don’t worry about it.’

‘It’s a little disturbing, isn’t it?’ Fitz says, nodding towards the screen.

‘Oh,’ Jemma says. She’s have agreed with him without a second thought a month or so ago. ‘It is, I suppose.’ She scoops up a handful of popcorn. ‘You have to admit though, it’s kind of sweet.’

Fitz laughs and wrinkles his nose. ‘I’m just glad our dates aren’t limited to a prison cell.’

Jemma hums in agreement, turning her attention back to the screen, and groans, rubbing the back of her neck in frustration as she realises she can no longer understand a word of what Kara and Ward are saying.

 

* *

 

She stands at the top of the steps to of Vault D as Coulson reprimands the pair.

‘All conversations are to remain _in English_ if you want to be allowed to continue to see each other,’ he says.

Kara’s almost managing to keep a straight face, but Ward’s refusing to look Coulson in the eye and almost outright grinning.

‘Yes, sir,’ he says.

 

* *

 

Jemma feels a little sorry for Kara. She’s been at the base months now, but she’s been shunned by the senior agents and banned from as much as setting foot outside. She seems to spend most of her time training with the newer agents, who don’t quite understand who she is and what she’s done, or down in Vault D with Ward.

And really, everyone deserves someone other than their boyfriend to talk to.

Jemma, at least, makes small talk with her when she’s doing her medical check-ups, but it doesn’t feel like enough.

‘I’ve been put on grocery shopping duty today,’ she says. ‘Would you like to come?’ She’s sure Coulson won’t mind – it’s not like Kara will try to run off without Ward.

The way Kara’s eyes brighten is a little sad, and Jemma’s sorry she didn’t ask earlier. ‘That would be lovely,’ Kara says.

Jemma smiles softly. ‘It’s just the supermarket,’ she says. ‘But you’re welcome.’

She’s got a long list of everything to buy, which she reels off while Kara picks thing off the shelves and drops them in the trolley.

‘Do you bake?’ Kara asks. She’s placing down flour in the trolley.

Jemma laughs. ‘Poorly,’ she says. ‘Though not as poorly as May.’ Kara winces slightly at the mention of the other agent, and Jemma slightly regrets her words. ‘Can you?’

Kara nods. ‘I thought I might. If nobody minds.’

‘Nobody will mind,’ Jemma says. She doesn’t say “and if they do, I’ll tell them to get lost”, but she promises it to herself. Kara deserves to be allowed the kitchen for the evening, at least.

‘I make great muffins,’ she says. ‘Grant loves them.’

Jemma can’t believe she’s asking this, but to be fair to her, Kara is in the most stable relationship of anyone she knows, and while Jemma likes her boyfriend a _lot_ , she hasn’t exactly had anyone to talk to about her relationship.

‘How do you,’ she begins, ‘make it _work_ with Ward?’

Kara tilts her head slightly. ‘We can relate easily, I suppose,’ she says. ‘Don’t you have that with Fitz? Grant always said you two seemed like you were mentally linked.’

Jemma would like to think they’re still as in sync as they once were, but she’s not sure. She must give away something in her face, because Kara nods understandingly. ‘That’s why you’re asking,’ she says. ‘Okay. Communication, I suppose. Honesty.’

She makes it sound easy. ‘So you know what was the real Ward and what was just lies?’ Jemma asks, and hates herself a little for it.

Kara nods. She’s looking thoughtfully at the shelf of sugar. ‘Yes.’

‘You know that he dropped Fitz and I in the ocean?’ Jemma asks, keeping her tone light.

Kara doesn’t miss a beat. ‘It was supposed to float,’ she says.

‘Did he really like board games?’ Jemma asks.

Kara smiles. ‘Are there any at the Playground? I should bring one down to him.’ She turns to Jemma. ‘You could come play with us, if you want. He says you’re great at scrabble.’

‘Oh.’ Jemma is a little thrown that he’d _remember_ something like that. ‘Maybe some time,’ she says.

 

* *

 

Watching the vault, while still vaguely sickening and a total nuisance, gets a little more interesting once Kara is fit enough to spar with Ward properly again.

Jemma’s seen her spar with the rookie agents before, and she could have them on the floor when she was still hardly able to stand for more than ten minutes at a time (and Jemma _did_ have to constantly tell her to sit down and _rest_ before she hurt herself).

This, though, is something different. There’s something enthralling about it, because Ward and Kara seem to know each other’s fighting styles so well that it goes on for hours. Some of the agents have started placing bets.

Jemma _might_ have bet a few times. Always on Kara. Mostly because she’s petty enough to refuse to ever bet on Ward.

 

* *

 

Jemma’s got three problems:

The first is that she has a date. With Fitz. This isn’t particularly a _problem_ and they’ve been on enough dates that she’s not nervous.

The second, the real problem, is that she has no clue what to wear.

The third is that most of the team, and anyone she would trust to help her decide on a dress, are away on a mission.

That leaves her with either continuing to panic over it on her own, or go to Kara. Honestly, she’d rather just panic about it on her own because Kara is down in Vault D with Ward, but at this point her date is only an hour away and she’s getting desperate.

They’re sitting on the floor of the cell, discussing something on the papers around them. They both look up when Jemma enters, and Kara waves.

‘Jemma,’ she calls. ‘Come here, we could use your opinion.’

Jemma frowns, but moves down the stairs and comes to kneel beside them anyway. She looks at the bits of paper. ‘These are… kitchens?’

Kara nods. ‘We’re on worktops at the moment. Which do you think?’ She points at two.

‘Um.’ Jemma stares, because this really doesn’t sound like they’re talking hypotheticals, and she thinks she should be concerned. ‘That one.’

Kara beams. ‘Told you so,’ she tells Ward. He makes a face at her. ‘Anyway. What did you need us for?’

Jemma feels suddenly like this might have been a mistake, but it’s too late to go back now. ‘I need help picking a dress. For a date.’

Ward gets a smug look on his face that Jemma would like to remove, forcibly if she could, but she’s not sure if Kara would help her with a dress if she did that. But if he says anything related to “I told you so”, she might just have to.

‘Sure,’ Kara says. She kisses Ward quickly and stands up. ‘See you later,’ she tells him, following Jemma out.

 

* *

 

The alarm bells go off, but by then it’s too late.

‘They’re gone,’ Bobbi reports. ‘The security cameras have been wiped, and we’re missing an SUV.’

‘Can we track it?’ Coulson asks.

Bobbi shakes her head. ‘They’ve disabled its tracking system.’

‘Hmm.’ Coulson turns back to his screens, directing his attention elsewhere. ‘Have someone in tech set up an alert in case they come back on the grid,’ he tells Bobbi.

Jemma frowns. ‘Are we not going _after_ them?’

Coulson looks at her like he finds the whole thing somewhere between irritating and mildly amusing. ‘I think we have bigger concerns than two rogues,’ he says.

‘They’re _murderers_ ,’ Jemma reminds him. She might have come to like Kara, even think of her as a friend, but she still remembers clearly what both Ward and Kara are capable.

Coulson swipes something on one of his screens, bringing up an internet search history. ‘I was keeping tabs on Miss Palamas,’ he says.

Jemma can see a lot of searches on real estate and furniture sites, DIY stores, holidays to Hawaii, and a couple on adopting dogs, but she has to admit, there’s nothing particularly incriminating. Honestly, she’s not surprised. She makes a little huff.

‘We’ll keep tabs on them,’ Coulson assures her. He gives a shrug. ‘I’m sure they’ll invite us to their wedding.’

 

* *

 

He’s right.

**Author's Note:**

> \+ find me on [tumblr](http://karapalamas.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/karapalamas) for general karaward bitterness.


End file.
